Coming out
Coming out of the closet (often shortened to coming out) describes voluntarily making public one's sexual behaviors or orientation, "being out" to not concealing one's sexual behaviors or orientation, and "outing" for making public the sexual behaviors or orientation of another who would prefer to keep this information secret.Many people who identify themselves as homosexual or bisexual, or who might prefer homosexual activities or relationships, have engaged in heterosexual activities or even have long-term heterosexual relationships. Such "heterosexual" behavior by people who would otherwise be homosexual has often been part of being "in the closet", and may be becoming less common as acceptance of homosexuality increases. Thus, some believe that coming out would disappear with complete acceptance of homosexuality.
Coming out has an etiquette of its own, developed through the experiences of people who did it in a way they later decided was inappropriate and more stressful than it had to be. It is generally suggested to avoid coming out during holidays and at other stressful times, such as during an argument.
Coming out is often a gradual process. It is common to come out first to a trusted friend or family member, and wait to come out to others. Some people are out at work but not to their families, or vice-versa. A person might say "I'm out at work, but I'm not out to my family".
It is also common to hear the phrase coming out to oneself, meaning to admit to oneself that one is homosexual or bisexual. This is the very first step in the coming-out process; it often involves soul-searching or a personal epiphany of some sort. Many gays and lesbians go through a period prior to coming out when they believe their sexual orientation or behavior to be "a phase", to be malleable, or when they reject their own feelings for religious or moral reasons. Coming out to oneself ends that period of ambiguity and begins the process of self-acceptance.
Not surprisingly, some studies have found that the degree to which a person can be out in a large number of life situations seems to strongly correlate with lack of stress and freedom from neurosis.
The practice of announcing a closeted homosexual's orientation against his or her own wishes is known as outing them. Outing someone can be very traumatic and embarrassing for the victim, and as such is often used to purposely hurt a person or damage their reputation.
Today, more homosexuals and bisexuals are out than ever before, and many believe that being in the closet is unhealthy for the individual. A common saying is, "Closets are for clothes". One major gay magazine is titled Out Magazine. This is often seen within the gay scene as politically healthy, even a queer duty or necessity - the more out gay people there are, the harder it will be for bigots to misrepresent and oppress. Others believe that coming out in the traditional, overt manner is not always individually or culturally appropriate. An alternative offered is "coming home", the process of introducing one's same-sex partner to family and friends as a close friend, leaving the queer sexual identity more unspoken. In the end, the individual has to decide which option they feel most comfortable with.
It is becoming increasingly common to hear "coming out" used by analogy for disclosures of other private sphere characteristics or behavior, e.g. "coming out as an alcoholic", "coming out as a conservative" [1], or "coming out as multiple" [1].
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