The Seinfeld characters and culture reference article from the English Wikipedia on 24-Jul-2004 (provided by Fixed Reference: snapshots of Wikipedia from wikipedia.org)

Seinfeld characters and culture

The television show Seinfeld was known for featuring many characters, each with their own special characteristics. Seinfeld was also responsible for the entering of many terms from the show into popular culture.

Table of contents

1 Pseudonyms of Main Characters 2 Secondary characters 3 Notable one-time characters 4 Celebrities who played themselves 5 Celebrities or Significant TV actors not playing themselves 6 Factual people who are played not by themselves 7 Factual people who are referenced without making an appearance 8 Fictional characters who are referenced without making an appearance 9 Seinfeld sayings

Pseudonyms of Main Characters

In various plotlines, several of the Seinfeld main characters carried pseudonyms in order to get them out of various sticky situations:

• George Costanza: Art Vandelay; an alias often used by George -- in one instance George tells the unemployment office he is close to getting a job at "Vandelay Industries". The characters encounter a judge named Art Vandelay on the series finale. At one point George wanted to be known as "T-Bone", but his co-workers at Kruger Industrial Smoothing nicknamed him "Koko", and later, "Gammy". George revealed that if he were to be a porn star, his name would be "Buck Naked". Jerry frequently calls George "Biff", referring to the Biff Loman character in Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman.
• Cosmo Kramer: H. E. Pennypacker; in one instance Kramer poses as Pennypacker, an interested buyer in an apartment in order to use the bathroom. Kramer appeared as Pennypacker to get revenge on a store, Putumayo, by repricing all the merchandise in their store with his pricing gun. Another pseudonym was Dr. Peter von Nostrand; he tried to get Elaine's chart to erase the negative comments her doctor had made. Kramer used Martin van Nostrand when he auditioned for the role of himself on the show Jerry.
• Jerry Seinfeld: Kal (or Kel) Varnsen; the arch-rival of Pennypacker and a wealthy developer/industrialist. Notably, both of them plus Vandelay appear in the episode "The Puerto Rican Day" (where Jerry's Saab - actually a Saab 900 convertible - is abused). Kal Varnsen also answered the phone of Vandelay Industries to aid in George's unemployment fraud. "Kal" is the nickname of Jerry's real-life father, Kalman Seinfeld.
• Elaine Benes: Susie; after a co-worker mistakenly calls her Susie. Susie was created as a different person, in theory killed off when the situation with her co-worker became too complicated.

Secondary characters

• Frank Costanza (played by Jerry Stiller) and Estelle Costanza (played by Estelle Harris) - doting parents of George, who live in Queens.
• Morty Seinfeld - Jerry's dad. He sold raincoats for 35 years. He hates velcro--he can't stand the tearing sound.
• Newman (played by Wayne Knight) - portly, annoying U.S. postal carrier neighbor of Jerry and Kramer's. While Newman was portrayed as Jerry's arch-nemesis he remained close friends with Kramer.
• Mr. Steinbrenner (voice by Larry David) - George Costanza's boss while working for the Yankees; his face is never shown.
• Kenny Bania - an unfunny stand-up comedian who has routines on chocolate drink mixes such as Bosco and Ovaltine. Jerry contributed some material to Bania's ovaltine routine. He likes to eat at Mendy's.
• Tim Whatley - a dentist who converted to Judaism for the jokes and a regifter.
• Bob Sacamano - a friend of Kramer (never shown) who is often referred to as the source of nutty ideas or inaccurate information.
• Soup Nazi - based on a real person, a man who easily denied customers his delicious soup.
• David Puddy - on-again, off-again 'religious' boyfriend of Elaine Benes. He wore an 8-ball jacket and enjoyed giving high fives while working as a salesman in a Saab dealership.
• Uncle Leo (played by Len Lesser) - Jerry's unavoidable and annoying Uncle who always greets Jerry with a hearty "JERRY, HELLO!" His son Jeffrey works for the Parks Department.
• J. Peterman (played by John O'Hurley) - eccentric and loquacious boss of Elaine Benes. He has a long, interesting history that includes heroin addiction.
• Jackie Chiles (played by Phil Morris) - Kramer's erstwhile lawyer, an obvious parody of O.J. Simpson trial lawyer Johnnie Cochran. He's known for his triple exclamations. Jackie Chiles even had a life past the continuation of the TV series: Phil Morris appeared as the character in a few television advertisements.
• Noreen - a friend of Elaine who dated the high talker. Elaine continuously destroyed Noreen's life until Kramer intervened and urged her to return to the military.
• Lloyd Braun - a long-time associate of George & Jerry, Estelle Costanza constantly badgered George for not being more like Lloyd. Lloyd used to work for David Dinkins until he passed along Elaine's suggestion that everyone in New York City wear name tags. Dinkins lost the race and Braun had a nervous breakdown. He enjoys "lo meiny" Chinese chewing gum.
• Jack Clompus - a resident of Del Boca Vista, where Jerry's parents have retired. Jerry gets into a fiasco with him over an astronaut's pen.
• Babu Bhat - from Pakistan, Jerry seems to mess up his life at every turn, by giving bad business advice on his restaurant and by not passing on his immigration notice. Thinks Jerry is a "very, very bad man".
• Crazy Joe Davola - attacked Kramer, blames Jerry for misfortunes, dated Elaine, depressed that Elaine rejected him, dressed up like clown.
• Bob Cobb - a conductor who prefers to be called "Maestro" and has a villa in Tuscany.
• Mickey Abbott - a little person who took various acting gigs with Kramer.
• Poppie - owner of an Italian restaurant who disapproves of abortion, known to not wash his hands after visiting the bathroom, believes a pizza is a pizza when you put your fists in the dough, rejects cucumbers as a pizza topping, and peed on Jerry's brand new couch. The "Poppie couch" turns up in later episodes.
• Lomez - another mysterious friend of Kramer. He is an orthodox Jew, according to him.
• Susan Ross - Ex-fiancée of George, dies from toxic wedding invitation envelope adhesive. She was a former executive at NBC when Jerry and George were pitching "Jerry." After her death, George is roped into being a trustee for her memorial charity foundation.
• Marla the Virgin - professional closet organizer who Jerry dates, trying to bed her, only to lose her to JFK Jr.
• Izzy Mandelbaum - played by Lloyd Bridges, fellow resident of Jerry's parents in Del Boca Vista in Florida; head of family-owned Magic Pan restaurants and has a running rivalry with Jerry.
• The Drake - a mutual friend of main characters, often referred to by "Gotta love The Drake" or "I hate The Drake." Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer give him and his bride a big screen TV for a wedding gift, only to find soon after that they have separated.
• Alec Berg - friend who gives ice hockey tickets to Jerry.
• Sue Ellen Mishke - the bralessless wonder, heiress to the O Henry! candy bar fortune.
• Ping - Chinese food delivery boy, who gets struck by Elaine and sues her.
• Mr. Wilhelm - George's superior at the New York Yankees; also George's brainwashed maid (Tanya) with the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners.
• Jake Jarmal - Author Elaine dated for a period. Dislikes using exclamation marks. Broke up with Elaine after she bought Jujy fruits immediately after hearing he was in a car accident.

Notable one-time characters

• Brody - Kramer's movie pirater friend, packs a gun, eats too much candy.
• Slippery Pete and Schlomo (played by Peter Stormare and Reuven Bar-Yotam) - two shady Slavic fellows that George hires to move his Frogger machine without power being interrupted.
• Vegetable lasagna - European guy, who sits in the plane seat next to Elaine and Puddy and has to put up with incessant fighting. Named after his food preference on the plane, even though he insists his name is Magnus.
• Miss Rhode Island (Karen) - Jerry dates her, accidentally kills her doves, forcing her to sing for the talent contest, which goes horribly.
• Bubble Boy - Jerry agrees to visit a boy in a plastic bubble, but finds he is a bratty spoiled kid; George gets in fight over a typo on a Trivial Pursuit card, when it says the Moops invaded Spain.
• Little Jerry Seinfeld - Kramer's rooster.
• The Postmaster General - played by Wilfred Brimley. Makes it clear to Kramer that he cannot not receive postal mail.
• Lt. Bookman (played by Philip Baker Hall) - a library cop who comes after Jerry due to his decades-overdue copy of Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer.
• Grossbard - Kramer runs into this old debtor at an airport and tries to collect the money owed.
• Smuckers - a dog that Kramer uses to get medication from a veterinarian for his own cough.
• Farfel - dog that Jerry is stuck taking care of when the owner sitting next to him on the plane has to be rushed to hospital; barks incessantly.
• Milos (sp) - incompetent tennis pro who sells Jerry a $200 tennis racket, offers his wife to Jerry, and asks him to take a dive in a tennis game.
• Donna Chang - Caucasian woman who people think is Chinese, originally named Changstein.
• Jean-Paul Jean-Paul - a runner from Trinidad and Tobago.
• Ramon - annoying poolboy at Jerry's former health club.
• Frank Costanza's Lawyer (played by Larry David) - he doesn't follow the trends and wears a cape. He stops Noreen from committing suicide.
• The Door Man (played by Larry Miller) - arrogant doorman of Mr. Pitt's apartment building tricks Jerry into watching the door for him. He berated Jerry for looking down at him because he was a door man, even though Jerry wasn't.
• Stan, the Caddy - Kramer's Senior Tour Golf Trainer. Missed the cut in the trial of Sue Ellen Mishke.
• Ned Isakoff/Isakov/Isicough/Yzzagof - Elaine's Communist boyfriend, whom she got blacklisted from Hop Sing's.
• Cheryl Fong - lawyer George starts dating, becomes attracted to Jerry's fake "dark side", winds up suing Elaine on behalf of her cousin Ping, "She never lose a case. They call her the Terminator. Hasta la vista, baby!"
• Kevin, Gene, Feldman, and Vargas - The Bizarro Jerry, George, Kramer, and Newman.
• Sidra (played by Teri Hatcher) - Woman who Jerry dates. He becomes obsessed with whether or not her breasts are real. Though Jerry never gets to find out for himself, "they are real, and they're spectacular."

Celebrities who played themselves

• Keith Hernandez - Jerry and George met the Mets player in the locker room of their health club. He is a big fan of Jerry's comedy and he becomes awkwardly entangled with Elaine and Jerry. ("The Boyfriend" — 2-part episode)
• Jon Voight - he bit Kramer's arm; George thinks he bought a Chrysler convertible owned by him, but it was really "John" Voight's car. ("The Mom and Pop Store")
• Marisa Tomei - had a major crush on George while he was engaged to Susan Ross, because she's attracted to "short, quirky and balding" men.
• Corbin Bernsen - George made a trip with Jerry to appear on the Tonight Show and he ran into Corbin Bernsen there. George tells him his idea for the perfect LA Law episode.
• George Wendt - George also runs into him at the Tonight Show. He suggests they change the setting of Cheers because "it's enough with the bar already." Bernsen and Wendt make George the butt of their jokes on the Tonight Show.
• Mel Torme - The Velvet Fog himself sings at a charity fundraiser, when Kramer is mistaken as a mentally challenged person. ("The Jimmy")
• Fred Savage - Kramer runs into former Wonder Years star at a cafe in Los Angeles, and tries to pitch his script.
• Raquel Welch - Gets fired by Kramer from the "Scarsdale Surprise" play, then cat-fights with Elaine. ("The Summer of George")
• Paul O'Neill - Kramer tells him he has promised a sick boy that O'Neill will hit two home runs in that day's game. O'Neill gets one home run and a triple with an error, but Kramer insists, "Come on, Bobby, that's just as good!" ("The Wink")
• Bernie Williams and Derek Jeter - During his tenure as assistant to the Yankees' General Manager, George is temporarily brilliant from lack of sex and teaches them how to hit. ("The Abstinence")
• Danny Tartabull - George sidetracks his promised appearance on a public television fund raiser to chase down a driver that he (wrongly) thinks gave them the finger. ("The Pledge Drive")
• Bette Midler - While playing catcher for the softball team from her Broadway show, "Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical", Midler is run down by George on a decisive play at the plate. While she recuperates, Kramer becomes her personal handler and gushes, "You are so freaking talented!" ("The Understudy")
• Regis Philbin and Kathie Lee Gifford - Kramer appears on their television show to promote his coffee table book about coffee tables. ("The Opposite")
• Bryant Gumbel - Jerry wears the puffy shirt onto the Today show, and host Gumbel says, "I'm sorry, it is just a VERY unusual shirt. It could be kind of a whole new look for you.. you know, you could be kind of like the pirate-comedian." ("The Puffy Shirt")
• Jim Fowler - The animal expert and frequent talk show guest brings a hawk to the Merv Griffin Show set in Kramer's apartment. ("The Merv Griffin Show")
• Al Roker - the television weatherman swipes Jerry's gyro on the subway while Elaine is holding a TV Guide with his picture on the cover. ("The Cigar-Store Indian")
• Rudolph Giuliani - he campaigns for Mayor of New York City with a platform that includes cracking down on frozen yogurt shops that falsely claim their yogurt is non-fat. ("The Non-Fat Yogurt")
• Pat Cooper - the comedian and entertainer who sponsored Jerry's membership at the Friar's Club and who readily exposed George as not "being in show business". ("The Friar's Club")
• Candice Bergen - playing herself playing Murphy Brown being given a very good feeling about Kramer's portrayal of . ("The Keys")

Celebrities or Significant TV actors not playing themselves

• Bruce Davison, as Wyck Fayer ("The Foundation", "The Soul Mate", "The Van Buren Boys")
• Janeane Garofalo, as Jeannie Steinman ("The Invitations", "The Foundation"), the woman Jerry is briefly engaged to.
• Brad Garrett, as Tony the mechanic ("The Bottle Deposit")
• Teri Hatcher, as Sidra ("The Implant", "The Pilot", "The Finale").
• Jane Leeves, as Marla ("The Virgin", "The Contest", "The Pilot", "The Finale")
• Ben Stein, Lawyer Shellbach ("The Comeback")
• Lauren Graham, as Valerie ("The Millennium")

Factual people who are played not by themselves

• José Carreras, as The other guyThe Three Tenors#//José Carreras// being presumed less popular than //Luciano Pavarotti// and //Placido Domingo// and Mr. Camaro ("The Doll")
• Fidel Castro, as El Presidente and El Commandante ("The Race")
• Monica Seles, as Herself ("The Lipreader")
• John F. Kennedy, Jr, as Himself ("The Contest")

Factual people who are referenced without making an appearance

• Maya Angelou, as Maya Angelou, the Poet, ("The Sponge")
• Albert Einstein, as Einstein. ("The Big Salad")
• Joe DiMaggio, as Joe DiMaggio, and The Yankee Clipper. ("The Note")
• Hernando de Soto (explorer), as de Soto. ("The Boyfriend, Part 2")
• Neil Simon, as Neil Simon, while characterizing Simon's Chapter Two as a good comedy. ("The Letter")
• Elton John, as Elton. ("The Glasses")

Fictional characters who are referenced without making an appearance

• The Man in the Park, as fictional by Lt. Martel, and as factual by Kramer. ("The Trip, Part 2")
• Superman (frequently)
• Susie, as factual by Peggy, and Mr. Peterman, and also as fictional by . ("The Susie")

Seinfeld sayings

A few notable expressions from Seinfeld became popular phrases in everyday speech (Seinfeldisms). Among the most famous:

• anti-dentite - someone who discriminates against dentists, which Kramer accuses Jerry of being.
• baldist - someone who discriminates against bald people, George often being the victim.
• close talker - a person who doesn't understand the concept of personal space during conversation.
• conjugal visit sex - the second best sex to have, fugitive sex being first and make-up sex being third.
• double-dipper - a person who inserts chip into dip, takes a bite, and unhygenically re-dips the chip, thereby essentially putting the whole mouth into the dip. George's double-dipping causes a scuffle at a funeral.
• Festivus - a December holiday created by Frank Costanza to counteract the commercialism of those other December holidays.
• fugitive sex - the one thing better than conjugal visit sex
• high talker - a person who speaks in an abnormal high pitch, usually to describe a male who sounds like a female.
• in the vault - an expression to indicate a secret, told in confidence, as in don't worry, "it's in the vault."
• "It's not you, it's me" - George claims he invented this famous break-up line.
• low talker - a person who speaks very softly. This can have very adverse effects especially when Jerry was 'low talked' into wearing a puffy shirt on The Today Show.
• "Hoochie Mama!!" - an exclamation used by Kramer, and ultimately Frank Costanza, in place of "Serenity Now" (see below). Kramer also uses it to express surpise or awe throughout the series.
• make-up sex - the sex when making up after an argument, which is best type other than conjugal visit sex and fugitive sex.
• Manssiere or bro - names proposed by Kramer and Frank Costanza for support garments for male breasts.
• man hands - phrase to describe a woman's hands when they are 'less than feminine.'
• master of my domain - used to describe one's fortitude in refraining from sex (including masturbation).
• queen of the castle - used to describe woman's (Elaine's) fortitude in refraining from masturbation; feminine form of "master of my domain." Elaine was queen of the castle until she saw John F. Kennedy Junior in an exercise class.
• mimbo - a male bimbo.
• Moops - a typo for "Moors" on a Trival Pursuit card; seized upon by George to deny the Bubble Boy the win.
• Mulva - the name Jerry guessed for a woman he was dating whose name he couldn't remember, all he knew was that it rhymed with a part of a woman's anatomy. After she stormed off in a huff because he couldn't remember her name, he realized it was Dolores.
• "Nnnnewman!" - as to identify a single individual being responsible for something, or all, that's bad.
• "No soup for you" - an exclamation used in the event where someone changes his or her mind about giving something to someone else. The word "soup" may be replaced with the object at hand; the reference to the show can still be very obvious if the speaker uses the correct tone of voice.
• "Not that there's anything wrong with that" - politically correct standard disclaimer, used to indicate that while one was not homosexual, one did not particularly disapprove of it.
• regift/regifter - take a (usually undesirable) present given to you, and give to someone else.
• "Serenity now!" - something that George's father Frank paradoxically yells as a mantra to calm down. Unfortunately, when one uses the "serenity now" method of anger management, the person swallows the anger until it reaches a critical level and he or she explodes.
• Sexual camel - someone who can go long periods between sex
• Shiksappeal - someone who is appealing, but non-Jewish; a play on Yiddish word shiksa.
• Shmoopie - nauseatingly sweet term of affection used by couples for each other, as in "I love you, Shmoopie!" Jerry uses it with a girlfriend, to George and Elaine's disgust.
• shrinkage - the shrinking of a man's (specifically George Costanza) penis in cold water. "Like a frightened turtle," as Jerry says.
• slip one past the goalie - to impregnate a woman, as phrased by Jerry in response to Kramer's lament that he had never done it.
• soup nazi - a person who would often need to say: "No soup for you!"
• spongeworthy - that a potential sexual partner is particularly attractive; in the original episodes, being "spongeworthy" meant Elaine was willing to use one of her limited supply of (no longer produced) contraceptive sponges with this person.
• Stopping short - the technique of a driver who slams on the brakes in the car, in order to get a cheap feel of the person in the passenger seat. Frank Costanza was the master.
• that'll be ... five ... ten ... minutes - to put off those who are in waiting, such as for a free table in a restaurant, for what overtly appears a moderate duration, but with the effect or even the intention not to eventually end their wait at all.
• "These pretzels are making me thirsty" - a line Kramer was to say in a Woody Allen movie; all four characters practiced saying the line in different ways. It ended up getting cut from the movie. Later used as a filler phrase when irritated or nervous, and at a loss for words.
• the jimmy leg - a condition that people have when their leg undergoes spasms while sleeping causing his/her significant other to lose sleep. This condition may cause a couple to sleep in different beds; Frank and Estelle Costanza resorted to sleeping in twin beds as a result of her jimmy arm.
• the move - Jerry has a complicated special move he uses during intercourse. It ends with a swirl. George was able to master the move only with crib notes (which got him in trouble)
• the old switcheroo - George mistakenly uses this phrase as applying to when someone has done something to you, you do the same thing to them. Jerry explains that George is thinking of "what is good for the goose is good for the gander." George asks, "What is a gander, anyway?" Jerry answers, "A goose that's had the old switcheroo pulled on it."
• the tap - during sex, to get a tap on the shoulder to cease activities because of subpar performance.
• toe thumbs - one of Jerry's girlfriends had a mysterious "tractor story." George suggested she lost her thumbs in a tractor accident and they grafted her big toes onto her thumbs.
• the twirl - Jerry used to sell umbrellas on the street and claims he invented holding the umbrella open over one's shoulder and twirling it. The twirl must be done at a certain speed, otherwise the twirler will disorient the customer.
• to get upset self-reflectively - as in "George is getting upset!", exclaimed by George Louis Costanza himself. Self-reflective speech was initially a defining attribute of Jimmy.
• to just ... write it off!! - to use a phrase without instruction.
• to name name(s) - as expression of the ultimate and irredeemable betrayal of an (until then shared) idea, or good; in referring to the betrayer.
• to refer to Jerry Seinfeld as "Seinfield", or "Miste ... Seinfield" - as to demonstrate familiarity with the particlar instances in which Jerry Seinfeld was so addressed; and hence familiarity with The Seinfeld Chronicles as a whole; and, not least, to express appreciation for all co-authors, and actors.
• two-face - describes a girl who looks good in one lighting condition, and ugly in another. Also used: "hotsy totsy, hotsy notsy."
• "Vvvvargas!" - as to identify a single individual being responsible for something, or all, that's good.
• "yada yada yada" - used largely like "et cetera, et cetera", although in the original Seinfeld episode it was used to gloss over important details. George had a girlfriend who yada yada'd shoplifting. Elaine described a bad date - she yada yada'd sex, but she did mention the lobster bisque.
• "You are so good looking" - a proposed alternative phrase for when someone sneezes, rather than "God bless you."
• "You gotta see the baby!" - annoying phrase muttered by new parents to uninterested friends.

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